Notes from Chris Voss Masterclass – Art of Negotiation
LESSON 1: MIRRORING
- Problem: Situation
- The other party: Counterpart
Collaborate to solve the problem
Empathy
What’s driving someone? What are their rules are?
What are they really after? Who are they really working for?
What are they really negotiating for? What is the commodity they are after?
What are their rules that they violated?
Emotional Intelligence – Tactical Empathy
Demonstrating understanding – build rapport – gain trust
Find out what’s possible & what their thoughts are, so they want to do deal.
Art of letting the other side have your way.
Mirroring – gets them talking to get them talking what your idea is
Mirroring
1) gather information
Repeat 1-3 words from them
2) Build rapport:
Genuine curiosity
3) Confrontational people
Change the battling into a dance
4) Silence is golden
Effective pause or dynamic silence – a lot of people signal anger with silence
Let the other person think — and you really wanna hear
LESSON 2: LABELLING
Label emotions – describe that emotion to reduce it
Verbal observations
Be aware of the emotions fr the other side – label it
— “It seems like/ feels like/ sounds like…..”
Trust-based influence – lowest maintenance, durable type
How not to label:
– by starting “What I am hearing is…” : I am more interested in my thoughts that yours
– continue talking… you need to have silence, let the other party think and the label to sink
Label more than once: “It sounds like…..”
Reinforce positive emotions
“I appreciate your time…” / “I feel like you are being generous with your time”
Mirroring and labelling in tandem
LESSON 3: MASTERING DELIVERY
- Manipulate mirror neurons
Late-night DJ FM voice to calm people – Smile - Ditch the assertive voice
3 different voice w 2 inflexions - Use the playful voice/smiling voice 80% of the time
- Use the analyst voice
Slow down, downward, soothing tone
When you throw a contract you are not gonna do
Use rarely cuz you will slow down the convo, and makes the other side feels cold - An inquisitive voice at the end
- Digital communication
- Singular pronouns
7/38/55 Rule:
Content, tonality, body language
= Tone of voice 5x more important than content
Fear of loss is what keeps people up at night
Appeal to people’s concept of fairness.
Always manage your raise – increase with decreasing magnitude.
Empathy, the recognition that you are going to make them angry.
Ask for “permission”
Odd number – everyone likes weird numbers
Write down on a piece of paper – looks like you are working hard – give them a sense of victory.
Pivot to non-monetary terms